Bringing Our Son Home

We have lost him

2010-07-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

The unimaginable has happened. A paper-ready family has stepped up to adopt our beautiful boy. I just found out, via EMAIL, not an hour ago. There, I said it. It is done. He will have a family and that is all that matters. Sure, we are TOTALLY and COMPLETELY DEVASTATED that it is not to be us, but the important thing is that he will grow up loved and protected, and not wasted in some miserable institution. We love him so much and we know that God has big plans for his future.

To you, Tanner...please know that we fought very hard for you for a very long time and that we will ALWAYS love and cherish you. You will hold a special place in our hearts FOREVER.

New Paperwork requirements

2010-07-03T15:08:00.000-07:00

Here we go again.

Changes to required paperwork for Tanner's country...the lease agreement that we worked so hard to get is now useless. We found out two days ago that the officials in Tanner's country are requiring a new, more formal document for those who rent their homes. *sigh* We are hopeful that FIL will cooperate and help us to get the document that we need, and in a timely manner.

We have already been slightly delayed in submitting our dossier due to the two week "vacation" going on now, during which Tanner's country is not accepting new dossiers. Due to the backlog that is occuring, a few of our documents will expire before we would be allowed to submit, so we are redoing those again (for the third time). We were now looking at a submission date sometime in August...with the new requirement, we just don't know.

If you have negative comments about these new developments, please keep them to yourself, as this is TOTALLY NOT OUR FAULT. We had EVERYTHING needed to go (waiting on our RR stateside helpers to approve everything), until this closure was announced and the new requirement was implemented! We are just praying that Tanner will not be sent to the institution before we can get what we need and get to him.

If you are the praying type, please pray with us that FIL will cooperate and we can get there before this happens.

Thanks for hanging in there with us, as we walk this extremely bumpy road to bring our son home!

I have the documents!!!!!!!!

2010-06-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

Yep, you read it right...we now have all we need to go get our boy! Once these are approved by our stateside helper, we go to Harrisburg to get the apostilles (Monday or Tuesday), then mail off this BEAST of a dossier to Tanner's country!!!!!!! At that time we will be officially rematched with Tanner, and wait for a travel date.

Excuse me while I go and do the happy dance :)

Join me, won't you?

I have it!

2010-06-23T11:24:00.001-07:00

I have the needed document! But, he "forgot" to do the notaries that go along with it! Ugh! He has promised to meet hubby at the notary this afternoon to get them done. It is four hours later...still no call to meet him. I told him I needed them today, as I want to take everything to Harrisburg tomorrow for apostilling...

Scam?

2010-06-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have been receiving comments (see comments from my last post) to the effect that I may have scammed people into giving me money. These allegations are totally NOT TRUE. These comments were made by anonymous posters...not the most forthcoming people to begin with.

I know that I have not posted an update saying that I have received the needed document from FIL...I have been avoiding that, because I just HATE writing that we STILL do not have it.

You cannot understand the situation that I am in here...this man has no idea of the timeline that we are up against...he does not care to know...he will not allow us to explain things to him...cuts us off when we try...hangs up the phone...will not meet with us in person to sit down and discuss this process. This adoption is NOT a priority for him, therefore, the paperwork will be done and given to us in HIS time, not mine. There is nothing I can do to make him move any faster, and any harassment by me will only cause him to make us wait longer. I have known this man for thirty years...this is his way of controlling the situation, and he will do it for as long as he feels like it.

To my anonymous posters...sign your name to your posts so that I may contact you regarding the slander that you have posted on my blog. Do you have the guts? This situation is stressful enough without people like you over there in anonymous land making it worse.

To all of the wonderful people who support us...THANK YOU!

MONDAY

2010-06-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: We will have the needed document from FIL on MONDAY, JUNE 7th! Well, that is when he said we could have it...stay tuned, on Monday I will update to let you know if he was good on his word.

Again, BIG THANKS to all who have helped make this possible! Love you all!

Tami

Just a reminder...and thanks!

2010-06-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

I was asked to let those who donated yesterday know that since your donations were not made directly to Reece's Rainbow, but to my Paypal account, that those donations will, unfortanately, not be tax deductable. I do hope there was not any confusion, I should have made that clear...

I also want to say how grateful Ralph and I are that so many of you took time out of your day to cheer us on, post on facebook and the yahoo group, and get the word out about our need!

To those of you who contributed...you all have a special place in our hearts, and we are grateful for your gifts of love! Thank you again, for making it possible for us to quickly bring our Tanner home to his family!

With sincere love and gratitude,
Tami and Ralph

Ransom for our son

2010-05-31T08:49:00.001-07:00

Ok, Tanner has been re-listed for adoption on the Reece's Rainbow website due to the delay we are having getting the needed document from hubby's step father...we are devastated of course, but I will not dwell on that now, as that just gets me to tears and that does our son no good...

Now, he is asking for $1000 dollars in exchange for the document. But, we do not have that kind of money lying around...so we are asking (geez, I really hate doing this!) if you have an extra few dollars, could you maybe chip in to help us get this most important document that we need in order to bring our little boy home? You can use the Chip In to the left if you are so inclined to help...if you cannot, we understand, and your prayers would be greatly appreciated!

One more thing. We must be quick...our paperwork expires in August, therefore, we need to submit in June, or ALL of the dossier must be done again, wasting precious time that Tanner does not have...he will be SIX in August, and will likely be sent to the mental intitution at that time. We just cannot allow that to happen.

Also, please spead the word...post on facebook, blog, twitter...if you would...for Tanner.

Thank you for whatever you can do!

Tami and Ralph
Still hoping to become Tanner's mommy and daddy

Mother's Day and why we don't have our son yet...

2010-05-10T23:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an especially difficult day for me...it was Mother's day and although we have been trying very hard to get our son home, he is not here. We are so close, I can almost smell his sweet head as I imagine holding him in my arms. Just writing this has given me the familiar stomach ache and tears are flowing...how on earth can I love and miss someone that I have never met? I believe with all my heart that the Lord has led us to our son, but cannot for the life of me figure out WHY he is being kept from us. Our little boy needs us...he needs us to get him home, to show him that he has worth, to give him the chance that he will not have if he remains where he is...to be a little boy, to go to school, to have a loving family. WHY is this not happening? I'll tell you why...

This may be a mistake, writing what I am about to write here. I don't know who reads this blog...if you Google my name, it will lead you here, so anyone could be reading...just to be nosy, just to start trouble. I have never said much on this blog for this reason, but I don't care any more. I need to get this out, and I have nowhere else to put it...and maybe, just maybe, the person preventing us from getting our Tanner will see it or hear about it and his heart will be changed.

First, let me say that we have had many hurdles to overcome when it came to this adoption. Many that I did not even mention on this blog. We are private people, and really do not believe in sharing every detail of our lives with anyone. I digress. Just to mention a few things if you have not read here before...illness...much, much illness. Both hubby and I hospitalized in December and hubby diagnosed with two serious illnesses. One of those is pretty much resolved, the other could cause problems in the future. Mine is of the chronic type, but is mangeable with lifestyle changes, which I have made, and might flare up from time to time. Another huge obstacle has been injury. Injuries to hubby at work and in a car accident that happened a couple of years ago, that has just come to light at this time. Some months ago, hubby FRACTURED HIS HIP at work. Yes. He returned to work BEFORE he was completely healed in order for us to be able to complete the adoption. You know, because we just don't have thousands of dollars lying around and I am not working right now. So, now, months later, he still has pain in his hip, because he did not give it enough time to heal. Now, he is out of work again due to an ankle injury that we think happened in a car accident 4 years ago. In that accident, he suffered a head injury. He was so focused on dealing with that, he really didn't pay much attention to the little pain in his foot/ankle. Now, after walking on it, working, and doing everything else that we do, he cannot walk without pain/limp any longer. Tests show that he has blown the tendons and ligaments in the inner ankle and needs surgery to FUSE HIS ANKLE TO HIS FOOT. This will leave him with no lateral (side to side) movement in that foot, and does not guarantee that he will walk without pain. The recovery time for this surgery is very long...therefore, he must now wait until AFTER we go to Eastern Europe to get Tanner...and limp around in pain the whole while we are there. So, there is just SOME of it...

Now for the REAL reason we do not have our Tanner home yet...we are in need of ONE document (actually two, but the other is being worked on and we WILL have it, we JUST found out that we needed it). This document is copy of our home lease. (Our house is in hubby's step father's name and we pay him) We don't HAVE an actual lease agreement, c'mon its FAMILY. Well, he doesn't agree with our plans to adopt Tanner, so he is being nasty and withholding this document because he now knows that we are so close to submitting our dossier to Tanner's country, keeping this document from us is the only way he can keep us from completing the adoption. I just cannot believe he is doing this! Keeping an innocent little boy from a home and family because he does not think we should be doing this. He does have reasons, but they are all ridiculous. He thinks that kids with Ds lay in cribs and drool all thier lives...then he read about the boy being sent back to Russia and thinks that Tanner will stab us in our sleep...stupid shit like that. So, which is it, will he be a vegatable, or a psychopath? Mind you, we have not asked for any support from him, monetary, or otherwise... but his "thing" is control, and this is his way of controlling us, as he has no other way of doing that...so here we are.

I don't know why I wrote all of this, guess I just needed to get it out. The powers that be (RR) have some idea what we have been dealing with here, but they seem to think we can get it together by the end of the week. Don't think that's going to happen...so, although we have done everything they have asked us to, we may lose our son, before we even meet him, after a year-long battle to save him.

My. heart. is. breaking.

No, we are not in Eastern Europe yet...

2010-05-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

I guess I should update all 6 of you who read this...

No, we have not sent our hot little dossier to Tanner's country yet. Although we DO have immigration approval to adopt Tanner and bring him to the US, our little dossier is not quite ready. *sigh*

We are waiting on TWO, yes, I said TWO friggin documents to arrive that will allow us to get on with it. One of those must be SENT to CT for an apostille after we receive it... the other, along with ALL of the others, will be DRIVEN TWO HOURS EACH WAY for apostilles while I wait. I am not trusting those most important pieces of notarized paper to the mail...NO WAY! We have waited too long already!

If you are so inclined, please pray with us for these TWO documents to come this week, because we have been informed if our dossier is not completed by May 15th, Tanner will be put back up on the RR website because we took too long.

If you have been reading here...you know why.

Thanks so much!

Tanner's Mommy

Approval and a new picture!

2010-03-12T12:52:00.000-08:00

We have approval from USCIS to adopt our Tanner! And in record time, too! This is thanks to my new freind, Lisa, who suggested that I send a nice email to the adoption officer at USCIS asking him to expedite our application. I did, and he did! The wonderful and charming Mr. Copesick actually CALLED me this afternoon to inform me that he has APPROVED our application for adoption! Next step...send everything we have spent months collecting over to Tanner's country and wait for them to say yes.

To add to the goodness of the day, we also received a new picture of our sweetie today! Complements of Serge. He is getting big! Can't wait to have him in my arms!

Progress

2010-03-01T21:25:00.000-08:00

Well, our homestudy has FINALLY gone to USCIS for approval! This has been a long time coming, as one obstacle after another has been thrown in front of us as we have endeavored to bring our little boy home. Next week I will travel to Harrisburg with the rest of our precious documents to have them apostilled in person. I am taking NO chances with the mail losing these precious pieces of paper! Once we have USCIS approval, everything goes to Eastern Europe and we are one more step closer to our son!

Looks like another wrench being thrown into the works...Ralph may need surgery on his ankle! We will find out on Wednesday.

If you feel so inclined, please join us in prayer for USCIS approval and super quick healing for my Ralph if he needs surgery. Thanks so much!

Updates

2010-02-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

Well, lets see...

Ralph has had all of the tests and it turns out that he has Barrett's Esophagus, due to acid reflux. There it is. We know. There is no treatment available, just take medication and modify the diet to help prevent the reflux from eating away the esophagus any further. I am happy to say that he IS feeling much better and will be returning to work next week.

We had our homestudy visit on the 30th, and it went well. Our social worker was really nice and seemed impressed that hubby has worked for the same company for 30 years and we have lived in our house for 23 years...continuity is good, I guess. LOL! Yep, we are boring. :) So, we owe the agency a couple of clearances that must be redone, then we can finally submit the homestudy to USCIS for approval!

Thats all for now, praying for a quick approval from USCIS.

January 30th

2010-01-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

Our homestudy visit has been rescheduled for January 30th.

I had Ralph at the ER this past Sunday due to stomach issues...AGAIN. We saw the GI doc today and he will have the upper endoscopy on Thursday. He was also warned that if he does not begin drinking more fluids, off to the hospital he will go to get them thru an IV. I am so worried about him right now, I cannot even think about our adoption... how can I take him to Ukraine, for who knows how long, if he is not feeling well? He is so pale... In 23 years of marriage, my Bubba has never been this ill and I am extremely concerned. He is in so much pain and has lost at least 15 pounds... :( I just want him well. Please pray with me for his healing.

Angel Tree Results

2010-01-05T20:33:00.000-08:00

Here are the final results from the Reece's Rainbow Angel Tree fundraiser! BIG thanks to all who contributed!!!! As you can see, this years' total donations far surpassed last years', and twice as many children found their forever families! What an AMAZING show of faith...can't wait to see all of those little angels home with their families this year!

Postponed

2009-12-29T19:53:00.000-08:00

These are the blankets that I managed to make for all the kiddos on our Christmas list.

Well, we have had to postpone our January 2nd homestudy visit...hubby is sick. He spent two days in the hospital last week with vomiting and stomach pain. After two days of testing, IV fluids, pain meds and nothing by mouth, it was decided he probably has a bleeding ulcer. He will have an upper endoscopy after the new year to confirm, and treatment will be decided then. In the meantime, he is taking probiotics. His bloodwork indicated anemia, therefore, the bleeding ulcer theory. The poor dear is really tired and still having pain...although it IS much diminished.

I also spent four days in the hospital earlier this month with Pancreatitis. I am having an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy on January 4th and must follow a low fat diet, as my liver enzymes have tested high also.

It has not been a fun month around here, and with both of us spending time being ill, we have fallen a little behind on our adoption plans. This just kills me...we had wanted to submit our dossier to Tanner's country BEFORE the reopen date of Feb 1st (when they begin to accept new dossiers again), have it translated, and have a submission date in EARLY Feb. These plans have now been pushed back by a few weeks, but we hope that immigration will approve us quickly and still allow us to submit in Feb and get a March travel date.

Please pray with us for our good health as we endeavor to complete our adoption and bring our beautiful Tanner home VERY SOON. Thank you!

Tanner's face

2009-12-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

My good and dear friend made a beautiful ornament for our Christmas tree...a snowflake with our Tanner's beautiful face on it! This was the MOST thoughtful gift I have EVER recieved, and I am grateful for the love with which it was made. I can't wait for next year, when Tanner can hang it on the tree himself! The pictures aren't great, but you get the idea. By the way, the tree is done in a snowflake theme this year, so Tanner's ornament fits in perfectly!

One Dollar for Kiril

2009-12-05T02:07:00.000-08:00

From Christine:

I’m holding a $1 challenge over at www.findingkirilsfamily.blogspot.com, on the countdown to Christmas. Kiril is a little boy with significant special needs who has been waiting on Reece’s Rainbow for a long time, and has been bedridden in an institution for over 6 months now. My goal is to get as many people as possible to donate just ONE dollar to Kiril’s RR grant.

I’ve contacted many people about this already, in the hopes that they will SPREAD THE WORD, EVEN IF THEY CAN’T DONATE. To date, there’s been an amazing response, but Kiril’s path home is still far from sure. I know it is usually against the unwritten ‘rules’ to ask an adopting family for anything – and I can see why. But if you are part of a loving, supportive community, which might be inclined to help in spreading this message and saving this little boy's life, I humbly ask that you let them know about this fundraiser. I have great faith that together, we can give Kiril hope and a future THIS Christmas. Thank you.

Waiting and a Generous Donation

2009-11-22T17:46:00.000-08:00

Look! I received this very generous shoe donation from the Pedi-Ped shoe company! All I did was email them and they sent me this large box of shoes to take with us to Ukraine! There are 60 pairs of shoes in the box...I am so grateful to be able to donate these beautiful shoes to the baby house! I have also been in touch with a clothing company and may be taking some nice, warm clothes to donate also!

It looks like we'll be submitting our Dossier in February, and travel should be shortly after. I just cannot wait to meet our son! I was a bit depressed about all of the delays we have been experiencing, and not having Tanner here with us for Christmas...but I have decided to let the Lord have it, and we know this will be done in His time, not ours.

I Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! I will be giving thanks to God for showing us the way to our son!

REECE'S RAINBOW ANGEL TREE

2009-11-03T21:02:00.001-08:00

I would ask that if you're looking to make a donation to an organization that does wonderful things like helping give children LIFE, then take a look at the Reece's Rainbow Angel Tree Project.

Click Here and just take a look at all the beautiful faces that are in need of a loving home. Donate to any of these children's grant funds and help get them home! Don't forget, Reese's Rainbow is where we found our precious Tanner...maybe you can find a precious one there too.
www.reesesrainbow.org

What About Now?

2009-10-16T01:10:00.000-07:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Pageant Mother!

2009-10-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

I have to vent here...

As I was watching the TLC show, "Toddlers and Tiaras" this evening one of the moms (Christi Jarrett) was describing the way her daughter looked at birth. As she went on to say the baby had jaundice and was yellow and her face or eyes looked funny (I didn't hear EXACTLY what she said, as hubby was running his mouth as usual), she went on to say..."ew, she looked like she had Down syndrome". I could not believe she actually said that, and that she said in on TLC, the very same network that will be airing a show featuring families who have children with disabilities, including Down syndrome!!!!!!!

I am very troubled by her comment, but more so with the fact that the comment was not edited out of the episode. I would think this network would be more aware of the content they put out there?! I don't know that I'll be watching shows on that network any longer...

Geez!

2009-10-05T16:57:00.001-07:00

There should be a chip in here...it has vanished. I have tried to re-post it....anyone know why it is not showing up?

Fingerprint Appointment

2009-09-21T21:38:00.000-07:00

So, we have a fingerprint appointment. It is to take place on October 15th. That is not enough time to get us approved to adopt from Tanner's country before November, when they will stop accepting new dossiers...until February. So, there it is. The earliest we can hope to be asked to travel to get our Tanner will likely be February or March of 2010! That will be ONE YEAR after we comitted to him. It was not supposed to take this long....

2009-09-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

USCIS application mailed today!

2009-09-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

Application to adopt was sent to Immigration today! Now we wait for a fingerprint appointment, finish up the home study quickly and pray for SUPER QUICK approval. Then we go get our boy.

I'll share some more cuteness in case you forgot...

Today is your birthday

2009-08-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Tanner,

Today is your fifth birthday. It is a bittersweet day for me. I had hoped to have you here at home by now, but here we are... you there, me here. My arms ache for you. I wanted to celebrate your fifth birthday at home with our family... instead I sit here without you, sad because I know there will be no celebration for you, sad because the chances have now increased that you will not be at your baby house when we come to get you. Words cannot express the feelings I have right now...I feel that I have let you down by not getting to you in time and I want you to know that am so sorry. Daddy and I are trying really hard to get to you and we will be there as soon as we can! We love you with everything in our hearts Tanner.

All my love,
Mommy

2009-08-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

New picture and a shiner

2009-08-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Christy is in Eastern Europe right now getting her beautiful girls...Tanner is in the same baby house and she was able to see him! She gave him some hugs and took this adorable photo. The shiner came from a fall, as Christy says he is very active and "all boy"! It feels so good to see him and to know that he is ok. Mommy and Daddy will be there to get you just as soon as we can, baby! Thank you Christy!

Passports and a Name

2009-07-11T01:36:00.000-07:00

Our passports have arrived! If we ever get our paperwork finished and get an invitation to travel, we can. Whoopee! Yep.

On a happier note...we have FINALLY agreed on a name for our beautiful son. If you are reading this and do not already know, the children's real names are not used on Reece's Rainbow. Our son has a given name, but we have decided not to use it. There are a few reasons...one being that they probably don't use it at the baby house anyway. From what I am reading on others' blogs, the caregivers use nicknames for the kiddos...so we chose a special name for the son of our hearts. Our son will be named Tanner Lee. My middle name is Lee and my step father's first name is also Lee, so we thought it would be neat to use it. Tanner was chosen after I chose about a dozen names I liked and the hubs and I agreed on one that we both liked. Boy, I never realized how difficult it would be to name a child!

Tanner's Mom :)

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

2009-05-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

I just happened to check our family sponsorship page on Reece's Rainbow today and $200 is now in Russell's adoption account! We don't know who the contribution(s) came from, but just want to say THANK YOU for your generosity!!!!!! Every bit helps, and during these difficult economic times, your donations are especially appreciated!!!!!

We are moving along with our paperwork, and God willing, hope to have our little boy home by his fifth birthday, on August 23rd!

Blessings,
Tami and Ralph

Home Study in Progress!

2009-03-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

We have hired a Home Study Agency and we are on our way! So many documents...so little time. I just want my boy home, don't they just know that we are worthy? lol!

Amanda has made us the wonderful button above, and even put it on this blog for me! She has been a great help in this area, as I am blog illiterate...THANKS AMANDA! Click on the button, it will take you to our Family Page on Reece's Rainbow...Check it out! You can also grab our button for your page and spread the word about our adoption. Thanks!

'Till next time...
Tami

First Post

2009-03-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

Not much to say yet...we have committed to adopt beautiful Russell (think we'll call him Rusty for now) from Eastern Europe! Rusty will be our first adoption as well as our first child. We are in the process of choosing an agency for our homestudy, and we'll be on our way!

I would love a button for Rusty and for Reece's Rainbow, but I don't know how to make one...can anyone out there give me a hand? Thanks in advance!

Tami